UGH!!!!!

So....here I sit...
in front of my computer....






and I can't come up with a darn thing to write about.

That has been my problem for a while.

So...I thought I would write a letter to my writer's block....
Here I go....Wish me luck~

Dear Writer's Block,
I'm not sure where you came from.
I'm not sure why you think you were invited.
I'm not sure why you have decided to target me.
Seriously, WB...I want you to go away.
I want to come up with cute, funny, inspiring, meaningful, heartfelt things to write about.
So...you need to go back to where you came from.
Goodbye....please don't come back...
You are no longer welcome!!!!
Have a great day....Happy Holidays....Happy New year, WB...!!!
Sincerely,
Maisy

Do tell....do you think it will listen?
Do you think it will go away?
Maybe the new year will turn my creative juices back on.

In the meantime....

I must really start Christmas shopping.
Maybe that will give me some funny stories to write about.
Like the lady who cut in front of everyone(like 15 people) because she refused to wait.
WAIT...WAIT...WAIT....I think I just came up with something to write about.

Wow...thanks everyone for giving me that idea.
That was really sweet of all of you :)

It really is a funny, in a not so funny way, story.

Well...now you know what my next post will be about.

Gift Giving

I am a person that loves to find that special gift for people.
Something special...something I have put thought into.

Below you will find some items from my Etsy store that I would love to recieve.
I know...I know...You are all thinking...
"Maisy, then why are you selling those items?"

I can't keep everything, ya know!




This could be used for cheese or better yet....to display your favorite things.
The teak base could be painted any color.

Can a girl have too many cloches? I think not~

The perfect silver tray. It could be a jewelry tray or imagine chocolate covered strawberries on it. *sigh*

The most adorable little jar of buttons. Would look great on a shelf or table~

This silver bowl is GORGEOUS! Would look perfect on your holiday table.


Feel free to stop by and check out my "Market".

Happy Weekend to all and to all a good day~

All I Want For Christmas Is My........

Over the last few months I have gotten myself back into reading.

This always happens to me.

I read allll the time.
I finish all my books and I'm just toooo lazy to go to a bookstore.

Then, I start to really miss reading.

It's the way I unwind before bed.
If the book is really good I always seem to find ways to read during the day.
Usually I tell myself that I'm really cold so I need to take a bath.

Then I sit in the for an hour or two and read away.
I ALWAYS come out looking like a raisin.
That's the price I'm willing to pay for a great book.
Aren't I a trooper?
I'm always willing to take one for the team~


I usually have a laundry list of things I wish for every year.
Nope, not this year.

All I want for Christmas is a Kindle.
The ONLY thing I want for Christmas this year is a Kindle.

Don't tell Bill but I know he already ordered it for me.

I asked for a screen protector and a cover for it from the kids.
Sure do hope they were listening.
I even told them what color I wanted.
Sure do hope they were listening.
I told them that I need a screen protector.
Sure do hope they were listening.

KIDS....IF YOU ARE READING THIS PLEASE GET ME A SCREEN PROTECTOR AND A CASE. I picked the case out and showed Jakob which one I wanted. Ask him about it.

What are you hoping for this Christmas??

PS. Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

We had to cancel the holiday at our house.
The little guy got the chicken pox.
Don't worry...I still cooked the 22 lb. bird and all the fixin's.
That's a lot of turkey for 3 people~

Hubby went to the ER. He got poked in the eye by a branch.
It was gross....They had to scrape his eye on Friday...Something about cells...
He's feeling much better now. *PHEW* I was a bit worried.

Silly Things I am Thankful For

Tomorrow is finally here....MY FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR!

I am most thankful for my family and friends.

Aren't we all though??
Usually, it is the little things that I just love.
I am thankful for things that help me get through the day.
Especially if it puts a smile on my face.


This video makes my day just a bit brighter.

I am also an animal LOVER!!!

If Bill would allow it I would have another dog,
some chickens...yes, I want me some chickens,
1 cow, 1 horse, 1 pig, a duck and let's not forget...
I would go over to my Dad's house and swipe one of his sweet alpacas.

Enjoy this special Holiday and....

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO YOU!!!

Wow....was this a totally random post or what....

Winterizing Miss Maisy

I love winter p.e.r.i.o.d! The thing that I just love about living in Chicago is that we experience 4 season.

I know lots of you live where you never get snow.
I can't imagine that.
I always pray for a white Christmas.
(OK, I mentioned Christmas. I know I just declared that I'm not skipping over Thanksgiving. However, this is a post about winter...cut a girl some slack.)



I love the silence that snow brings with it.
When I walk the dog(which by the way....my dog loves snow)after a heavy snow everything is so quiet.
I can only hear my footsteps and the occasional car driving by.
Oh, yeah, I can also hear Bradley's laughter.
He loves a good snowfall.
He smells sooo good after he's been outside in the snow for awhile.
It is different from the summer smell.
Man, was that a ramble....THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE~

There is also something about a fire in the fireplace.
I guess, opposed to a fire somewhere else.
Not sure why I needed to clarify that.
Man, am I struggling here to stay on topic :)
I love the light a fireplace gives off when all the other lights are turned off.
owever, that does not apply if it is during the day.
Daylight kinda ruins the whole fireplace glow thing.

OHHHHHHHHHH, and homemade hot chocolate with homemade marshmallows. PERFECTLY DELICIOUS!!!

I also adore accessories that keep me warm and toasty.
This year I have already bought a pair of fingerless gloves.
*warning....do not use these while playing in the snow....not very effective*

I just thought this photo was so damn funny that I had to put it up on the Maisy Report. I was looking for a cute hat and came across this.
I just couldn't help myself.
Have I mentioned that I have self control issues?
If not...well, now ya know.
Seriously, who the hell would wear that?
*disclaimer....if you own this hat or a hat similar I'm sorry for offending you* Now, I must get going.....I need to get some shopping done to winterize Maisy.

~Skipped Over~

I get the feeling that Thanksgiving is getting skipped over this year.

I'm not sure why.

There is so much buzz about Christmas. Everyone is listening to Christmas music...people have already put up their Christmas lights. I know people who have already finished their Christmas shopping.
Not me....nope....haven't even given it an ounce of thought.

For goodness sakes......Target was setting up Christmas before Halloween was even here and gone.




Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of the year!

I grew up in a home that Thanksgiving dinner was a sit down, family style dinner.
There was NEVER a buffet set-up.
(Mom, if you can read my heart from heaven know that I cherish those memories)
We sat really, and I mean realllly close to each other.
My mom always set a formal dinner table.
We talked, laughed, argued, spilled and always laughed some more at the Thanksgiving table.
It always seemed to be the one holiday when my mom stood up and said a toast.
(if my bros. & sis's are reading this and I am wrong please let me know)

The other thing that I just love about Thanksgiving is that there is no giving....other than thanks.

All you have to do is show up....or if you are the host, cook.

There's no wrapping paper to throw out. There's no bows hiding under the couch.
There's no extra charges on the credit care. Your electric bill doesn't go up. There is no extra garbage for the garbage man.

To me it's a holiday about just being. It's a holiday about reflection.
It's a holiday that makes you want to say THANK YOU.

So...Christmas, you will just have to wait.

I'm just getting ready to enjoy Thanksgiving.



HaPpY MoNdAy!

Bedroom Dilema

I grew up in a family of 7 kids.

The house I grew up in was a 3.5 bedroom/1 bathroom.

I loved it!!!!!!

I never thought it was small or that we were cramped.

That is what gives me comfort.

Small and cozy spaces.








How did this happen??

I have a big bedroom with 22' ceilings.

It's so hard to get that small and cozy feeling.

I really don't know how to bring the ceiling down.

Do you have any suggestions???


This is the reason I haven't taken on the project of the bedroom.
I need serious help.....I need YOUR help.

Do you have color suggestions, bedding suggestions, accessory suggestions or any other suggestion for that matter?

THANK YOU.....I can't wait to hear all your ideas. You are all so inspiring~

A Few Things I Would Love To Own

I was going through the Potter Barn Catalog yesterday....

Yes, I'm back on Team Pottery Barn...

Below you will find just a few of the items that I fell in love with.....






This is from their new collection of Antique Silver Serving Pieces.
Man, I sure wish money was free.
I would buy this whole collection if I could.
I'm so in love with this entire set.

These pillows would be perrrrrfect in my red family room.
They could be used for the holidays....
If you loved them as much as I do...I would keep them out all year.

OOOOOHHHHH...and this throw blanket.
I can just imagine sitting by the fire with this blanket.
Although, if I'm sitting by the fire do I need a blanket?
I guess I will just have to wrap myself in this blanket and ponder that thought :)

This is just a few of my love items.

Man, how did PB wiggle back into my heart????

From the Dusty Corners

I thought I would just show you some of the "little" things in my house.

It's these little things that make me feel warm.

It never seems to be big things that get me going.



This is a jar full of goodies from my sweet friend, Jen.
She gave this to me when her and her hubby came for dinner one night.
I really need to invite them over more often.
Now, when they invite us over how in the world am I even going to give them something comparable.
This is just soooooo cute.
( I didn't even show the darling pillow she also gave me. Sheesh....she's good)
Let's also not forget that she was just published in Country Living Magazine.
I told you she was good!

Just a shelf with a little corner of cute.

I just adore this little jar filled with vintage shredded paper.
It was suppose to go in my shop.
I just couldn't part with it.

Has anyone else noticed how cute the match boxed are these days.
I seem to pick them up everywhere.
I feel a new collection coming on.
How cute would they all be thrown into a BIG apothecary jar?


Well, there ya have it.

Happy Weekend!!!

*Just Another Quirk*

Just another thing you are about to learn about our Maisy.

She loves to buy things that she thinks are really neat.

Sometimes before she even knows what the heck she is going to do with them.

When she was in New York in the spring she went to the Rachel Ashwell, Shabby Chic store.

She fell in LOOOOOVE with these baskets.


She proceeded to buy three of them.
(hey, she told me they were half off)

Now she has them and doesn't know what to do with them.

Do you think you could help her out and give her some suggestions?

Thanks for helping out our dear 'ol Maisy.








(I have no idea why I did this ENTIRE post in 3rd person. Just another quirk.)

Maisy Went Junkin'

So this past weekend I went junkin'.

I had so much fun.





I have had my eye out for a vintage gumball machine.

With all the pieces intact.

This is the kind that is super, duper, mighty heavy.
It has grunge I can't even clean off.
Since growing up in a family that owned candy store....
This makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

A vintage seltzer bottle.
Now, if I could just figure out where to put it.

This is a stack of old post cards.
Some of them date back to 1881.
It's really hard to read some of the writing.
It's so squiggly, wiggly.

I LOVE THEM ALL!!!

What did you do this past weekend?


xoxo

Catching Up

First, I would like to start off by saying HAPPY FRIDAY!

This has felt like a long week.

Maybe it's because I cooked dinner almost every night this week.

Who knows....who cares...just HAPPY WEEKEND!!!


I have been attempting to catch up on some of the things I have fallen behind on.

The big one is listing items at Maisy's Market.

Yesterday I got around to a few items.
I still have oodles and oodles more!









I'm sooooo hearting vintage flower frogs.
(sometime I would like to use them as weapons on family members who don't clean up after themselves......you know who you are...don't act shocked)

Oh wait...I like this one too much...I didn't list it.
I actually have 3 of these.

Forest Gump said "life is like a box of chocolates"....
I say "life is like a bowl of cherries"....sorry....that's all I could come up with on short notice.

Ain't she purrrrrdy,

I love her.

Ahhhh blue....I think I will paint the ceiling blue...
Just kidding...that was all I could come up with about blue.
:)

If I was keeping this I would want all my meals served to me on this.
I'm not even kidding.
The rest of the family would be eating off of paper plates and I would be eating off of this gorgeous piece.
(i'm not serious.........we NEVER use paper plates unless it's party time....)

Well...I hope everyone has a great weekend.
Get out there and enjoy the rain, snow, sunshine or wind....or you can just stay in and watch movies, knit, cook, talk on the phone, blog, laundry, shop....you get the point.
Whatever you do be sure to enjoy yourself....the weekends are so short~


PS....Jen from Sanctuary Arts got a full page spread in Country Living Magazine.
Be sure to stop over there and congratulate her.
JEN...YOU ROCK!!!!!!
I'm soooo happy we are friends.
My days/life would be boring without you.
I'm so proud of you....keep going...this is just the beginning.

PB

As many of you know I am not a HUGE fan of Pottery Barn.

However, I think I'm on Team Pottery Barn again.

Just look below at the new pillows on my couch.

They just look so good on my red couch.

I had the pillow inserts. I just bought the cases.

I have been in love with Pottery Barn's last 2 catalogs.
I happen to be strolling past it yesterday while on my mission to get boots.
This nagging feeling came over me.
It was saying..."put your pride aside and just do it"
So I just did it.


I'm so happy I did.

Sometimes It Just Hits Me

It's that time again....

You know the time.

The time when it's time to go through the drawers and put your summer clothes away.

Now don't let me fool you.

It's just the little man's clothes that I do with this.


As you will notice in this photo he is in a long sleeve shirt.
It's cold outside.

Notice the jeans.
It's cold outside.

I was going through his drawers and closet when all of a sudden.....out of nowhere...
like a punch to the stomach....
my chin started quivering.
My eyes started to fill up.
Then it just let loose.
I started to ugly cry.
(for some reason I don't really have an in between cry)
Right there as I was going through his clothes.

I just feel so sad.
It seems like every season that ends and a new one starts it's just more time I can't get back with Bradley.
As I type this I continue to cry.
I can't stop.

For some reason, I miss him.
I know, I know he is still little.
I have tons and tons of time left with him.
It's just that I know how quick time goes by.

I think about the fact that our oldest hasn't lived at home full time for over over 6 years.
Sometimes I miss him so much my heart hurts.
Not a miss that is selfish. I feel like all my kids have a life to live.
I am so very happy for them.
They are all doing so well....
It's just that I miss having them all under the same roof for more than a day or two.
To be honest I don't think I have had ALL of them under the same roof in almost a year.
He's my step-son....imagine how I will feel when it's Bradley.

Then I take this picture and laugh.
He's giving me the whole....
"hurry Mom, I have to get back to Club Penguin"
look.
When I took this he said....."Only one Mom, right???"
OMG I just love Bradley more than I thought my heart could love.

I just want you all to know that I am not fantasizing.
I was ready to to do some serious damage to him at Monkey Joe's for bugging the shit out of me for tokens to play games.

I just want to hold them all close.
Close enough so they can come back to the nest whenever they want.
Close enough for Sunday dinner.
Close enough to come over to watch a game on the couch and to not worry....they are home.
Close enough for them to sigh...to know it will all be OK because they KNOW they are loved endlessly.

Ok, I really have to end this post....I have to stop crying.
sniff**sniff**sniff.

Just as an FYI...I kept Bradley's big summer t-shirts out. That way I can just put a long sleeve shirt underneath it and feel like the season hasn't actually changed. Just a little trick I play on myself every fall.

Am I crazy???
Am I the only one that ugly cries about this??

XOXOXOXO

NO SCHOOL

YAY!!!!!

No school today!

I think I get more excited than Bradley does.
(i am that mom that can't sleep if i think there is a chance for a snow day cause i'm just laying there hoping and hoping)

As promised....this is what we will be doing today!



I don't know if you have a Monkey's Joe where you live.

It's a huge place for kids to jump and play.

(I took this photo from google....i have no idea who that little boy is)


The one by my house is so new so it is SUPER clean.
After being at MJ's I can't go back to Chuckie Cheese. It's just so gross.

The best part is parents are free and it's only $8 per child.
A family could stay form 10 AM - 8PM.
(geez, that would make for a long day)
There is no way your kids can get out of the building without you.
They have leather recliners, big flat screen tv's and free wireless for the parents.

The only part that is disappointing is they don't let adults on the jumpy things unless you have a little one.
Maybe I should have a baby so I can go to Monkey Joe's and play.

Happy Monday!!!!
Enjoy your day!!

xoxo

Maisy Had to Make A Change

I FINALLY went today to buy a new computer.

I originally thought the problem was the thing that hold the plug that is attached to the motherboard.

NOPE!!!! The motherboard was fried.

They think it was because the cord was tripped on tooooo many times.

That made me decide that when I get my new computer I will try to not stretch the cord.

That's tough for me.

I like to work at the kitchen table...the couch....the bed!

Goodbye table, couch and bed....it's time for Maisy to set up a "computer station"

Here it is.....




Table against a wall.....check.
Outlet close to the table.....check.

It's a pretty small table.
However, I was able to fill it with things that make me feel good....old books, old clock, some milk glass, and oh wait...is that a glass of wine??

I feel like a proud new mom....
Now I just need to name the new computer....I was thinking Lilly, Sally or maybe even Shiba (she is a Toshiba).

I will have to let you know what I decide. I need to spend a bit of time with her before I decide.

Sheesh, it sounds like I'm trying to name a new pet.

Man, I really need to get back to blogging.
I'm starting to get realllllly weird!

Thanks so much for being so patient...I feel like I have been out of the country on a remote island for a while. I need to get back into the swing of things.

I find blogging to be interesting.
I find it fun.
I find it sometimes a bit confusing.
(ya know when someone leaves a comment and you are just stumped..then you e-mail them and realize that your brain is just slow)

The thing is that in our blogs we can create ourselves to be whatever we want.
It's actually a bit scary.

We can make it out like our marriages are complete bliss.
(i have been guilty of this myself, remember....I usually only post the good stuff....I tend to leave the hard stuff out. I do believe that when I am ready I will give you all the dirt.)

We can make it like our kids are perfect.
(this one I am not guilty of....I would be more than happy to tell you that my kids drive me bonkers sometimes)

We can talk about how much we love parenting when in reality the children are just tokens.

We can glamorize our lives.

We can transform it into something it just isn't.

I mention it because I have seen it time and time again.

I just want everyone to know that I am going to work realllly hard to just be me.
I am going to work hard at letting you see my heart (doesn't mean that it will always be pretty)
I find it hard to do anything other than that.

It kind of reminds me of middle school.
You wear a different hat with each different person you are with.
You so badly want the attention so you are willing to sell yourself out.
When I was in middle school I would have cut my right arm off to be popular.
I think back on that and I cringe.

I want to stand up as a woman and let the world know who I am.
I don't want to let the world dictate to me who I should be.

I'm just plain 'Ol Maisy.
Trying to make it through this thing called life.
Trying to make it without too many scratches and scars.

So, with all that being said....I'm just going to ask you tread lightly when making friends online.
Remember, the person on the other end of the friendship typically lives hundreds of miles away.
You can't possibly really know how they are.
They could just be what they want you to THINK they are!



Have a great Tuesday!
Hope the sun is shining and the air is crisp where you are.
Here, it is rainy and cold.
Sounds like a great book day to me~

I Need Your Help

R.I.P little laptop
When I dropped my laptop off at the repair shop they told me it was the little thing that the plug plugs into that is attached to the motherboard.
That is a $300 repair. I took a big gulp and said they should just repair it.
Hey, it's way cheaper than buying a new laptop. Right??

Then they called me a week later and told me it is in tacked and that the mother board is fried.
That repair would cost $500 to repair.
I gagged for a quick moment and then pulled myself together.
I think a tear escaped my eye and rolled down my cheek.
I told them not to bother, I would pick up the computer.
I have to be honest, I am a little pissed about this.
It is 13 months old.....1 month out of the warranty.
UGH!!!!!

Now here is my dilemma...
Now I have to buy a new laptop.
Remember, I don't share well.
I need my own computer.

Do any of you have a laptop?
I need to know if any of you recommend one.
I am not a mac girl.
I can't justify spending $1300 on a computer.
I pretty much surf the web, blog, download photos and update my Etsy store.
I don't need anything too fancy.
My previous laptop was a Toshiba Satellite.

I haven't been blogging because I don't like our desktop computer.
For some reason it takes like 10 minutes to warm up.
Please, if you are going to ask me why I would like you to e-mail me.
I will give you my hubby's e-mail address.
GO ASK HIM!

Please, please, please let me know if you are happy with your laptop.
THANK YOU!!!
You are all the best bloggy friends a girl could ask for.

PS. I'm so happy....I did back up my computer just a few days before she fell ill :)

Something So Minor

I am having this one teensy weensy problem with my computer.

Now I don't think you know this but Maisy refuses to share a computer.
Actually, when it comes to food and my electronics I'm not a very good sharer.

I snarl and tell the other people living in this house to step away before I turn my CRAZY on.

Well, now I have myself in a pickle.
I have loaded all my stuff onto my laptop.
It never even occurred to me to load all my software onto the desktop computer.
NOPE.....not me....I wanted to keep all my stuff to myself.

Well, now less than a year after sweet hubby bought me a brand new sparkling laptop it won't recognize that it is plugged into the charger.

That's right....I have a DEAD computer.

I am heartbroken.

I feel a bit lost.

I'm stuggling with the mouse I am now forced to use.

I have to send it alllll the way back to the manufacturer.

I think a tear just rolled down my cheek.

I hope she doesn't get homesick.

I hope she doesn't just sit there thinking he Mama left her and that she is never going home.

I will have to pack her a little lunch for her travels.
I was thinking maybe a memory card and I just may leave a disc in her so she doesn't get too sad.

This is a bad day at the Maisy house.
To top this all off I am seriously PMSing.

Hope you all have a better day than I am having.

I better go so I can figure out where to send her.
IT BETTER BE COVERED BY THE WARRANTY.
They don't know who they are messin' with ~

Hi!

HI everyone!!!!!

i haven't posted in a few day.

i have missed you!

i hope you are all enjoying your weekend.

please feel free to tell me what's going on in your life today.

i am on the MAD hunt for boots.

wish me luck.

Geez, i REALLLLY missed you!!!

Taking the Day Off!

that's right...

i'm taking the day off.

my house is a mess.

i have laundry coming out of my ears.

i have banned my little man from t.v. and video games.
(i'm not even gonna get into that)
soooo.....
there are toys and pokemon cards all over my house.

there are marbles on the hardwood floors.

there are dishes in the sink.

the beds aren't made.

i have stuff to list on etsy all over the kitchen table.

there are shoes scattered on the floors.

the little fish tank needs to be cleaned.

there are empty cereal boxes on the counter.

there are blankets in the family room that need to be folded.

oh, and the pile of mail that i need to go through.

i have furniture to paint.

it will all just have to wait...
i'm taking the day off!!!!


PS....i guess i won't be posting tomorrow......
i will have waaaaay too much to do!

Trying to Chill

I was born and raised in a house of complete chaos.
Not your everyday chaos.
I was not raised by parents that were always in and out of the car driving us around.
We were lucky if they even went to parent teacher conferences. We were lucky if they went to the holiday program.
You certainly did not expect them to show up at your game or tell you to do homework.
Every single member of my family lived for each day.
Every single member of my family lived in crisis mode.

I wonder why my parenting style is soooo different from my parent's style.

Don't they say that sometimes no matter how hard we try we just repeat what we know?

I wonder if the reason I struggle so much with my identity is because I'm trying to live my life just the opposite of my childhood.

One thing I can tell you is that I am damn lucky to have been raised in the totally messed up family I was raised in!!!!!!
We are all survivors.
I learned lessons that others will never learn.

In the end, my mom lived her last 5 years sober.
She was truly a changed woman.
I will love her until my last breath.
She showed me what it truly means to fight for your life.
She showed me strength that I had never personally experienced before or even have seen up until now.

My Dad, ahhhhh my Dad.
Damn, I love that man.
He has completely chilled out as he has gotten older.
He is a great listener.
He gives such sound advice.
He can make me laugh my ass of with just a few words.
He knows a little bit about everything.
I LOVE his curiosity.
He always seems to know when I need his tender heart the most.
(I didn't say always....just when I realllly seem to need it)

I hope that I learn to chill once all my kids are out of the house.
I just can't do it now.....
I have to spend all my time reversing everything I know.
See, that's how I do it.
I say....how did it happen when I was a kid?
Then I just do the complete opposite.

At the end of the day I know I cannot change a damn thing.
In the end I know I can only look forward.
In the end, all's I can do is look back on my childhood and laugh, cry and shake my head.
Through all the shit......I still think I wouldn't have changed a thing.
I like who I am....even if I am pretty wacky.

It's just on some days it's hard to always live my life sooooo consciously.
It's just plain tiring sometimes.

Thanks for letting me ramble.
Thanks for letting me share.
Thanks for letting me be me!

Oh......The Number Game

Do any of you ever think about this??



I feel like everything in this blog world is about numbers.

How many followers you have?

How many comments you get for each post?

How many hits your blog gets a day?

I was going to do a post the other day about the fact that my school district was not going to allow Obama's speech to be played in the classrooms.

I had a whole post about it. I read it to my husband and he said....man, you are going to lose followers for that post!

That got me thinking.....who am I writing for?
Is it to make my readers happy?
Is it for me to express myself?

Does the number of followers really matter?

Does the number of comments really matter?

Does it matter that the reason I don't post as much as I used to is because I have a hard time coming up with cute and fluffy stuff?
( ya know...the light and airy stuff....the stuff I don't know how to embrace in my life)

Does it matter that I am really not a good small talk person?

Does it matter that I am a person who lives my life emotionally?
(I just don't know how to live it any other way...I am open to suggestions)

I just need to find my balance. I want to be able to do the "fun" posts but I also want to do posts about things that are really important to me.
I also want to do that without worrying about the numbers.

Do any of you worry about this?